Healing
by Hoshiko Shinomori
Summary: I used to think that no one could help me, but perhaps I was wrong. We listened, even when no one spoke. Was this what they called love? Was this...my healing? RenaultxSerra crack pairing! R&R.


A/N: This one-shot is actually written for a contest hosted by me and a few friends. Anyways, it's a crack pairing from the first Fire Emblem in the US, which would be Fire Emblem 7. It's RenaultxSerra, which should prove interesting…

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to any of the FE games, simple as that…

-o-o-o-o-o-

Healing

By: Hoshiko Shinomori

-o-o-o-o-o-

Darkness was all that was left for me. No matter how hard I tried to atone, I'd never fully be able to cleanse myself of this stain. It was useless. There weren't any magical words of healing and no answers to my pain. No one would fully understand what I had gone through. So I sought nothing and told no one. I drifted through life like a shadow, numb to everything. After all, no one could help me, least of all this young pink haired girl.

I heard her before I saw her.

"Oh, and I forgot one thing! You can't come near me, but I expect you to fully back me up as your senior cleric, all right? We serve St. Elimine, right? I mean, we're the same? Well, you're much older, but you still need to follow the code!"

"W-Well, yes. Of course. ...But."

"What? Do you have some complaint?"

"No, no complaints. It's just... I'm–Bishop Renault! What a surprise to see you!" greeted the long blonde-haired man, his face having that 'please-save-me' look.

I merely nodded in acknowledgement, before turning away, hoping to leave without initiating in conversation.

Luck was against me.

"Hey! Don't you know it's rude to just leave without introducing yourself to a lady!" huffed the unfamiliar cleric.

"…My apologies, but I believe you already know my name." I glanced quickly towards Lucius. He had, after all, already said my name. "It's Renault, and you are?"

"Of course you want to know the name of the beauty standing before you! My name is Serra! Don't forget it! ...Not that you can, it's not everyday a beautiful girl such as I decides to speak to one such as you. Aren't you thrilled? Of course you are! You must be ecstatic!—"

"…"

"Maybe you want my autograph now? Well, I don't do them so you're out of luck! Oh what a curse this beauty is!—"

This girl was driving me crazy. Didn't she ever shut up? Never before had I wished so hard to once again possess those dark powers since my time as Nergal's assistant.

I had to get away.

"Excuse me, but I have certain things that need attending to." I knew I had rudely interrupted, but I didn't care as I made my hasty retreat.

"Hmph. Well the nerve of some people! What's his problem!" Like a child, Serra stood miffed, her arms crossed against her chest.

"Go easy on him; he's gone through a lot of hardship in life." Lucius was attempting to rationalize Renault's actions to his friend.

"…Haven't we all?" Serra fell silent, thoughts of her non-existent parents on her mind.

"Yes, but Renault has yet to understand this. That man is broken and will continue to be so until he finds his own answers." Serra could only look thoughtful in response to this.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Fighting battle after battle provided me with no answers. It only served as an escape: the adrenaline pumping helping me to forget, the physical pain easier to deal with than the hurtful past, and the whispered promises; a promise for a swift death. Once again, fighting was all I had. The only difference between the present and that time long past, is now I'm here saving lives rather than taking them; a bishop and not a mercenary. One other difference…this time I was alone.

Alone…Save for one loud-mouthed cleric…

One loud-mouthed cleric…and a sniper.

Body shifting into auto-response mode, I quickly dispatched the enemy with my strongest light attack, turning towards my comrade, dread filling me, my stomach dropping.

Blood. Crimson red blood. It created a pool around the slumped figure, her fragile body broken. Her blood running down. Her eyes staring, seeing nothing. Her body…like a corpse.

My first instinct was to run.

Not this…not this sight again! Not blood. Not another comrade. Not another death. No…no! I couldn't handle this. I wanted to retch.

Instead I pulled myself together and walked over towards Serra. I began inspecting her body.

Three arrow holes.

One in the back left shoulder, one in the back left thigh, and one in the left arm; a shot meant for her head. Luckily for her, she moves around a lot, otherwise that last shot wouldn't have missed.

Quickly performing a healing, I was relieved to learn she had only passed out from the loss of blood. I was given even more relief when she briefly opened her eyes and spoke.

"Oww…that really hurts. This is no way to treat a lady." Wounded and barely conscious, her reply lacked the conviction and usual energy, coming out weak and slightly mumbled.

"I'm sorry for the pain, but you'll have to endure this for a little longer."

"Why…are you doing this? Plenty of people would rejoice…at my death." Her head was starting to bob up and down as her mind slipped between consciousnesses.

"You don't really mean that. I'm doing this because…I once lost a dear friend who was like a brother to me. I don't want to lose anyone else."

That was the plain and honest truth. As much as it still pained me to talk about it, it really didn't matter since Serra would forget this all the following morning.

"So we've…both lost family…" Unsure of what this comment meant, I never got the chance to ask as Serra once again succumbed to unconsciousness.

Once the healing was complete, I dressed the wounds, bandaging them tightly in case the wound reopened. Picking the unconscious girl up bridal-style, I was surprised at how light she was.

Cradling the girl in my arms like a small child or a precious toy, I walked us back to camp, back to safety.

Gently asleep like this…she wasn't half bad. Perhaps she really was the light to my darkness, my other half, the one who stands at the end of the path I chose not to follow.

Or perhaps I was starting to get sentimental. Curse this girl for making me feel!

Feelings were a dangerous thing, a road to hurt and pain. I didn't want to go there again.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Human nature and human emotion which compel us towards illogical action. What is it about these two that drive us?

Following the sniper incident, I was often busy checking up on Serra. While the wounds weren't that severe and the physical pain treatable, her condition only worsened. Priscilla said the trauma of the incident could be the cause, but I didn't agree. This was caused by something else.

It was as if she didn't want to heal, almost as if she…welcomed death.

Twice while I was watching her, filling in for Priscilla, Serra cried out in her sleep. Her body was wracked with convulsions, sweat pouring down. She was having nightmares, probably induced by the poison tipped arrows.

Nightmares…but of what?

Her shuddering only got worse. Not knowing what else to do, I placed a cooling hand on her forehead and began to talk.

"You've got to keep fighting. You're still young, many answers lie ahead of you. Believe it or not, at least on person doesn't want to see you die."

I don't know why I said that or why I even cared. People moved in mysterious ways.

Was it guilt, or remorse? Perhaps I was trying to atone for the friend that I had lost.

All this time and still no answers.

Surprisingly, no matter my motives, my method seemed to work. You calmed down right away. If only more things were that easy.

The rest of the camp, noticing how well Serra seemed to improve from my daily visits, placed me in charge of her. This would allow Priscilla the chance to rest up as well as allow her to fight in more battles. This of course meant that I was taken off active duty.

My only escape, the only thing I had left in this world…gone. All because of this little girl.

"You're almost more trouble than you're worth," I muttered as the 'girl' slumbered away.

A few days later, Serra woke up. She was almost as perky as ever, already making demands on how to serve her. A few of the mercenaries grumbled about her attitude as they heard her outside the tent. Whether she heard these comments or not, she never indicated.

I just shook my head at those soldiers. No one, not even Serra, deserved that kind of treatment.

"Renault!" I could hear Serra's high-pitched voice even out here. "I'm thirsty! Go get me a drink!" Sighing in resignation, I headed over to do the task.

"Yes, right away…"

From that incident with the soldiers I should have realized how emotionally strong Serra was.

Strong…yet fragile.

Once again she surprised me. I walked in one day to find her wet with tears; eyes puffy, mouth turned down, knees hugged to her chest. She merely looked up at me with those blank, reddened eyes.

This girl…how much has she kept bottled inside?

Not wanting to intrude and feeling out of place, I turned around again heading for the door.

"What kind of man…are you? Don't you know when you see a pretty girl crying…you're supposed to…comfort her?" She had to pause between words in order to breathe between the sobs. Tears cascaded down her normally clear skin in a continuous stream.

Not knowing what to do, I stepped further into the room, taking a seat next to her bed. I listened carefully to her words. Listening was the only thing I was good at and the only form of comfort I could offer.

"I was raised in a convent…in Ostia. It was a strange and sad place. There never was enough food and it was always too…cold. We didn't have firewood or any warm blankets. Naïvely I hung on to hope, like a child unwilling to give up. I'm still…that child. I believed that I was a noble of the Etrurian court, the bloodline of the count. I fooled myself into believing that the only reason I was there was because of…family issues, problems with inheritance. Surely my parents often thought of me. Surely they…missed me. Soon, they would take me away from that awful place. I clung to that. But the truth is…I'm nobody special. My parents won't come for me. They either died in the war or abandoned me at birth. I'm not wanted, not by anyone. Everyone just sees me as a nuisance, an irritating bug. I know this, but still…I hope."

I…had no words for this; no response, no reaction. What could I say in this situation? What could anyone say?

"…Isn't this the part where you say, 'Look towards St. Elimine. Pray and all your pains will be healed'?" Thick, hot tears still burned trails down her cheeks, but now they came slower. She was looking at me expectantly, almost as if needing the reassurance, begging me for it.

I almost felt like giving in, felt like telling her what she wanted to hear. I felt like stopping her pain, even if that meant spinning a beautiful web of lies. But, in the end, truth won out.

"St. Elimine can't help you. He's not the one who'll make things better or give you the answers you need. The only person who can do that…is you."

There was a long awkward silence that fell between both of us. She just stared at me with a quizzing glance until eventually all her tears dried on her face. Then slowly, as if the idea were too hard to comprehend, her lips formed in the shape of a question.

"Y-you're not a very good bishop…are you?"

It was a simple, innocent question. She hadn't meant to be mean or sarcastic. In fact, she was gazing at me with the look of one who wanted to understand. She…wanted to understand me. No one's ever really tried to do that before.

"No…no I'm not." I was so thrown off by that one simple question, my mouth refused to function according to my brain, instead choosing to speak for itself; choosing to speak the truth.

The truth, hidden in all the lies.

How long has it been since I fell into darkness? How long since my carefully constructed half-truths became reality? I couldn't even remember the last time I truly thought about these things. I was a lost soul, drifting day by day towards nothingness.

Lost…until now.

What was it about Serra that made everything bubble to the surface? These thoughts, these emotions…

These answers.

This girl, without any effort, had the ability to make me…feel. Whether it was annoyance, fear, confusion, or the desires to protect, heal, and understand. This whole range of emotions that I've kept bottled up till now. I-it made me feel…alive.

One girl had the ability to do all that. Perhaps she was the gateway to my answers.

Answers…we had both been searching for. Healing…we both desperately needed.

As I stood up to leave, Serra called out to my retreating back.

"Renault, thank you." I smiled at, what I felt was, unnecessary gratitude. Then her next words stopped me.

"I…I think I've fallen for you."

At that moment, my heart began to beat, again for the first time.

-o-o-o-o-o-

A/N: Aiya! I'm cutting it close to the deadline. Anyways, there's still a little more time left if you're interested in entering the contest. The rules can be found on my profile page. Also, if you liked my fic, then go check out some of the other entries.


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